3.31.17

I cannot believe tomorrow is the first day of April. We have so much going on next month.

Jake will be the big 6 months on the 6th, my moms birthday is on the 10th, my grandparents are coming out from Ohio to visit on the 12th, Nathan’s birthday party is on the 23rd, we will take him on a birthday adventure on his actual birthday (the 24th), then he has his 4 year check up on the 25th, and then we have a baby shower on the 30th. April is starting to become our November(we have a birthday like every other day in November. Including mine and Mando’s.) 

I still have so much to do for Nathan’s party. I’ve been lagging hard on making decorations so I need to get on it before I really have NO time.

I’ve been thinking about making a YouTube channel for the boys, in reality it would mostly be for Nathan, but that’s only til Jake is big enough to participate. We’ll see.

Workouts have been going so freakin well. I’ve been working out with my friend. She has a little gym in her apartments, I can take the boys and have them in there with us and she also takes her twin girls. It’s so nice to have her to talk to and laugh with. She’s so laid back and doesn’t judge, I know I can say anything around her and we’ll laugh about it. Plus having her to keep me accountable is so great. Today I have workout C to do and cardio tomorrow and I’m done with week 2. 

It’s only 9:30 in the morning right now so maybe I’ll update throughout the day or later on in the night. ✌🏼

UPDATE: now it’s 9:30pm lol

Today was a really good day. Besides Nathan’s attitude. But anyways.

I went to the dojo this morning and got in my workout. We went to target after to pick up some essentials. Toilet paper, new tooth brushes for everyone and loofahs for Mando and I. Nathan was in desperate need, and I mean DESPERATE need of new PJs. He looked like he was expecting a flood alllll week. I wanted to buy Jake some new jammies but he had some at home that I was pretty sure would still fit. I was wrong, they won’t zip up around his thighs. My boy is healthy. 

I thought that would be the highlight of the day but my friend invited me over to workout at her house. And I couldn’t turn it down. I love hanging out with her so much. It’s seriously non stop laughs. We’re hilarious. So I got my cardio and workout in in one day. πŸ™‹πŸΌ 

That’s it for today. On to a new day and new month tomorrow. 

Easter banner.Β 

I’m kind of obsessed. 

I saw this idea on Pinterest and HAD to make it.

What you’ll need:

-paper (color and design is completely up to you. Also, how many sheets you need depends on the size of the bunny stencil you’ll be using.)

-bunny stencil or bunny cookie cutter(remember what I noted above. I couldn’t find a bunny stencil or cookie cutter that I liked, so my brother drew this for me. It’s medium sized I’d say, and I only got 3 bunnies per sheet and I had 5 sheets of paper.)

-small hole punch

-medium white felt balls

-zots(or glue. Something to make the felt balls stick to the paper)

-string

-scissors

-trace the bunnies onto your paper, cut them out and put them in the order you’ll string them on the string to hang.

-punch a little hole in each ear of the bunnies. (2 per bunny)

-glue the dots to the little bunny butts.

-string them on the string and hang!




I’m in love with it. The only thing I’m hoping to change is the blue and yellow. They’re the same design and right next to each other. Im hoping to get another color of the polka dot paper to add another bunny between them. 

3.23.17

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted. We haven’t been too busy doing any one thing in particular, I just get caught up in the day and forget to post. Mando didn’t work all week til today, (he still ubered at night) but it was nice to get some extra time with him. 

The weather has gotten cooler for us thank the heavens. For one, I’m really REALLY starting to dislike the heat. It just makes me feel so gross. And last week when it was warm I really realized that I’m not comfortable enough to get into a bathing suit yet. 

I’m fully aware that it hasn’t even been 6 months since I gave birth. My stretched belly skin and stretch marks are the least of my worries. I haven’t been as committed to working out or eating well as I should be. I found these in my phone and it really motivated me. 

The left was August 2012, I was (unknowingly) 5 weeks pregnant with Nathan. I was 115 pounds and looking back now, a little too skinny. The right is 16 months postpartum (after Nathan). Neither of these pictures are what I’m trying to get back to, they’re just examples of what I can accomplish when I’m actually dedicated. 

I started a new workout routine on Sunday and I’ve stuck to eating better since Sunday as I well, so I’m really excited and proud of myself. 

This newest routine is gonna be 6 weeks, and I’m really hoping to lose fat and build a little more muscle.

Monday dojo cardio

Tuesday gym weight workout A

Wednesday dojo cardio

Thursday gym weight workout B

Friday dojo cardio

Saturday gym weight workout C

3.19.17

Breastfeeding is starting to give me serious anxiety.

My supply is never steady. And right now it’s low. All I have in the fridge is enough for the next feeding, and I JUST pumped.

I thought it may be working out that was affecting my supply, but I haven’t been working out as regularly as I’d like these past few weeks and it still dropped. I know it dropped a few weeks ago because I started my period. I got it to pick back up again, and well…here I am again. 

Jake will be 6 moths old in a little over 2 weeks, and that’s when I planned to stop. But even that’s giving me anxiety. When I was super low a few weeks ago I tried supplementing with formula and he wouldn’t take it. And he actually refused the next few bottles after that even though they were breast milk. So I know the battle to switch won’t be easy. 

I think I’m going to try a more milk plus pill I saw at sprouts and hope that picks up my supply and keeps it somewhat steady. 

Maybe once I hit the 6 month mark I’ll play it by ear? I dunno. I just wish this wasn’t such a battle.

3.16.17

I didn’t have much planned for today besides giving the boys a bath and hopefully getting to the gym. Target was definitely not on my list of places to go today (stupid budgeting) but a valve on my pump broke and that’s something I just couldn’t do without. 

So, we get to target, I’m over here preaching to Nathan that we’re only there for ONE thing. I get my new valves(a 2 pack! Whooo!) and I notice teething rings are on the same aisle, and Jake is in desperate need of one. So, I grabbed one. Thennnn, I’ve been thinking of a St. Patrick’s day goodie to make for Nathan so…there went my “one thing” promise. BUT, he didn’t get a toy. AND, another plus; I only spent $22 which is a record and should be celebrated. Maybe with some St. Patrick’s day rice crispie treats. 😬 (Nathan approved.)


That’s all I’ve got for now, maybe I’ll update with more later on tonight. ✌🏼

Update: so it’s bed time. I could’ve gone to the gym. Mando got home from the gym at a good time and I was dressed and left, BUT….I wanted to get Nathan a little something for St. Patrick’s day. I think it’s super cute. 


And btw; who the heck knew finding gold chocolate coins the night before st Patrick’s day would be so damn hard?!

The story of us.

Mando and I’s story is full of twist and turns, ups and downs and plenty of times when I was sure we just wouldn’t make it.

I met Mando when I was 16 years old. It was summer 2006 and summer school had just started. My friend and I had just gotten out of class and usually left as soon as it was over, but one day she said she wanted to wait to say hi to some guy named Mando. Now the name “Mando” + the city we were in…I was 100% sure “Mando” was some short cholo. But sure enough, she ran off screaming “OH MY GOD, MANDO!” And ran and jumped on this guy who was…well he wasn’t short and he wasn’t a cholo. This is one of the most vivid memories I have, the very first time I saw him. I don’t want to say it was love at first time but it was definitely “DAYAMMMMM” at first sight. I can’t remember if we talked that day, but after we left school I told my friend that I thought Mando was hot, and I remember very clearly, she said “girl, don’t even try.” πŸ™‹πŸΌ ok girl. 

I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but we found each other on MySpace (yes MySpace) and it turned out her had a girlfriend. (πŸ‘ŽπŸ» BOOOOOO) but I was also talking to someone so I wasn’t too upset. Once the school year started they had broken up (πŸ‘πŸ» hehehehe) and I we ended up having the morning session together and I think a few classes. 

Now, I’m not trying to talk myself up here or seem conceited, but back in the day(yes back in the day, this was 11 years ago) I didn’t have a problem getting guys. I was a huge flirt and I could usually tell when the feeling was mutual between a guy and I, but I could not read Mando AT ALL. It was like, sometimes it was there and I thought I was catching some signs from him, but then he’d go and act like an asshole and I was like nope. In fact there was even a time I told him that if he wasn’t going to be nicer to me then I wasn’t going to talk to him anymore. Anyway, we ended up signing up for the same class that was off campus and he offered to give me a ride everyday,(of course I didn’t pass it up.) And within a couple weeks one of his best friends asked me if I liked him. Duh. Maybe a week after that he asked me out at a football game.

Now this is just the beginning. 7 months into our relationship his family took a huge hit. Everyone ended up getting pulled apart; a 6 person family was now completely seperated. He was able to live in the house his family lived in for about another 8 months, and after that had to find his own apartment. I want to say that it was at this point that he started spending the night at my house. Well, my parents house. I have no idea how they allowed their 18 year old daughters boyfriend to spend the night. I had had plenty of boyfriends and even just random guys that they had met before Mando. I don’t know if they saw that it was more serious with him or maybe the situation, or a mixture of the 2. But looking back on it now, as a parent, I don’t know how they did it. I’m overprotective to a fault, so when the boys get older and start dating, I mean I don’t wanna say I’ll be one of THOSE moms, I really don’t wanna be one of THOSE moms, but…I dunno. I’ll save that for another post lol

So fast forward through a bunch of stuff, on to the highlights lol we’ve been broken up before , we’ve had our time to date around and be with other people. Like I said, our story is full of twist and turns, ups and downs and plenty of times when I was sure we just wouldn’t make it. But somehow through all of the break ups, the broken hearts, having to fight for us and at one point even trying to talk myself out of wanting to be with him, there’s something that has always brought us back to each other. Something that always kept us fighting.

Things still get rough, we’re not perfect and we’ll never claim to be. Marriage is tough, parenting is tough, especially when we have different upbringings, we’re constantly butting heads, we’re both crazy stubborn, but through it all we will always fight for each other. We’ve made it through so much in our time together, I know there sure to be more bumps ahead. But I know through it all we’ll be ok. And we’ll be together.

Cause he married me, I ain’t goin no whereee! πŸ˜œπŸ™‹πŸΌπŸ€—

Date night.Β 

Last night is still replaying in my mind.

Mando and I have a mutual love for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. After seeing Adele back in September, (our last date night) we kinda made an unspoken agreement that we needed to do that more often. So back in November, when we heard about the RHCP 2017 tour heading to the staples center we knew we had to get tickets. The problem was they only had one show and it was on a Tuesday. I missed getting us tickets for that one, it sold out SO fast. Then, due to high demand they added a second show on Wednesday, failed again. Lucky us, they added a THIRD show for Friday and Mando scored us FLOOR SEATS. Like I said, that was back in November, so we’ve been pumped about this for what seemed like forever and last night was the magical night. 

It wasn’t without a scary moment though. Our plan was to have my parents come over and watch the boys, but Friday afternoon my mom text me to tell me she had pink eye. We both agreed that it wasn’t a good idea for her to be around the boys until her meds kicked in. We could’ve had my dad watch both boys but…I mean I know how it is with both boys. It can be overwhelming and he hasn’t watched kids since my brother and I were kids. We asked my aunt and uncle if they could step in and thank God they said yes. We’re seriously so lucky to have them in our lives. They’re always showing us and our boys constant love and they’re always there for us. 

Like I said, the show was freakin amazing. They’re even better live. I saw one guy get tackled in the aisle literally RIGHT next to me, no exaggeration, his beer splashed me as they tackled him to the ground, we still don’t know why. Besides that it was crazy amazing. I’ve loved them since I was like, 7 or 8 at least. I remember listening to them with my dad and brother so to hear those exact songs live was like a dream come true.

I don’t know when we’ll have another date night and I doubt we’ll ever top this, but I can’t wait for another date night with my husband. 

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Bad dreams.

For whatever reason I’ve always had super vivid dreams. I always seem to remember every detail once I wake up and they always stick with me. And sometimes, depending on what they’re about they can really affect my day. 

Last night I had a dream that had to be, hands down, the worst dream I’ve ever had. The panic and sadness I felt feels so real to me. And I’m so paranoid.

In my dream we were at hobby lobby. It’s not uncommon that when we’re out Mando and I will wander away from each other, and usually he’s pushing the cart so I’m holding Nathan’s hand. This is exactly what happened in my dream. In the dream I was looking at something on a shelf and a woman came up to me complimenting how handsome Nathan was. I was holding him and I remember feeling like she was just way too close, it was overwhelming. But I was trying to be polite and say thank you until she walked away. But she didn’t. She started trying to grab Nathan from my arms. I tried to fight her back but it’s like my hits were doing nothing to her. She ripped him from my arms and I fell to the ground and saw her running off with Nathan in her arms. I got up as quick as I could and started to chase her while screaming for people to stop her, but no body could. I watched her run through the front doors of the store and knew I had to hurry. Once outside I watched her throw my son into the car and drive off. I felt so helpless. I had to go back into the store and call the police. Mando came to the front and saw that I didn’t have Nathan and I had to tell him. His face was shocked and confused. I felt like he hated me, I allowed someone to run off with our son. In the dream I remember thinking to myself “what the hell does she want with a 4 year old?!” And all of the worst thoughts entered my head. After this, I woke up. It was around 7am and Nathan had come into bed with me around 6. I stared at him and I still felt so overwhelmed. He has all these plans to go to the park today and he wants to go to a certain park and do all of these things while we’re there and I’m terriefied to leave the house. 

I know I have to just suck it up and use this to keep myself more aware of our surroundings when out. I know I can’t project my fears on to him. I have to let him be a kid and enjoy his day despite my own feelings. It’s just really hard. Losing one of the boys or Mando is seriously one of my biggest fears in life. 

“People who don’t know shit about me but still try to come for me…”

Jk. You’re not worth the mention. πŸ˜‚

Got to the gym today so I started the week off right. πŸ™ŒπŸ» I got to go grocery shopping by myself(every moms secret fantasy. No meltdowns, hallelujah.) 

Mando’s made the comment that I pick Jake up too much. Like if he’s throwing a fit cause he doesn’t want to be in his swing/jumper/playmat I’ll just pick him up and carry him around with me. It’s true. I know I do it. He’s just so cute, and I also can’t stand hearing a baby cry for 15 minutes lol but really, he’s right. I have to stop and let him cry things out himself. Speaking of Jake, he’s 5 months old today. I really can’t believe how big he’s getting. 


Tomorrow is another laundry day and hopefully another successful workout. I haven’t made it to the dojo in a week but that’ll have to wait til Wednesday. I’m trying to plan that workout in my head. I have to make the most of my time when I’m there, and I don’t get a lot of time lol gotta make it high intensity so it really counts. 

3.3.17

I was beyond overwhelmed today. 

Jake is not a good sleeper at all. For naps or at night. Add in a 4 year old hasn’t been good at all, and it’s really starting to take its toll. 

I feel so bad having to be so hard on Nathan, but he just HAS NOT been good. He hasn’t been listening, he’s been doing things we’ve told him time after time not to do. And it’s back to back to back with him. One thing after another. I really do try to be patient with him, I try to give him as much attention as I can so he doesn’t feel like he’s being pushed aside and acting out because of that, but he makes it really hard sometimes.

I’ve only worked out once this week because I’ve been so damn tired. And to add on top of all of this, milk supply is so low right now. 

I’ve already told Mando that 6 months of breastfeeding is all I can do. The constant pumping, fighting to keep my milk supply up, it causes me so much anxiety that I don’t even think it’s worth it. I wish I could go a full year but I’m tired of this. 1 more month is all I’m willing to do.