Well hello.

So much has gone on so I’m trying to figure out where to begin.

I guess I’ll start with the surrogacy. Per my last post(well over a month ago 😬) I had my embryo transfer, but unfortunately the embryo did not stick. I had a feeling. I know that sounds dumb, like oh really? You had a feeling? But I’m really intune with my body and after about a week I really just felt it. To the point where, the night before I had my appointment to determine wether or not it stuck, I had a full anxiety attack. I knew I wasn’t pregnant, but somehow going in for the blood draw to HEAR the news was tearing me up. I did it, I got the call and the nurse gave me the news. I cried. I really really felt…defeated I guess? I was really just hoping and praying it would take on the first cycle. But it didn’t and there was nothing I could do to change the outcome. I let myself feel what I was feeling. I cried it out, I avoided going anywhere I would see anyone who knew about my process, just because I knew if it came up the water works would be back on. But I had to get over it. I had to remind myself how lucky I am to not have to go through a process like this to have my own kids. I also had to remind myself that the parents were also receiving the news that the embryo didn’t take and how that must be a blow to them to. The good thing is that we’re staring another cycle this month, so I’m really hoping this takes this time.

My big boy started kindergarten last week. And I was a mess. I cried for a good hour(on and off) after I dropped him off. I tried so hard not to show my emotions in front of him but it was so hard. He was so so excited, but as soon as we got into his classroom I could tell reality set in for him and I could see he got nervous. Before I left his classroom he looked like he was gonna cry which really tore me up. I hated leaving him like that. I barely made it outside his classroom door before I started my ugly cry. Day 2 & 3 I teared up too. This week has been better. I do find myself getting choked up when I’m walking back to the car with Jake. He’s been home with me since day one. Every schedule and routine he’s ever been on has been mine. I’ve always known exactly what he’s doing, I’ve always taught him(what I can), so for him to be at school and just be doing this without me makes me a little sad. But at the same time I’m so happy to see his excitement for school. I love hearing the stories he tells when I pick him up. I love the worksheets he does. And if he could remember any of the songs he sings in class I know I’d love those too. He’s really loving it and I love that he loves it. It was just an adjustment, but it was very much needed.

Sunday we took the metrolink to Olivera St. in LA. It was a bit of a rushed trip due to me making us miss not one, but TWO trains. 🤷🏼‍♀️ But it was fun.


Today is national bump day, as well as the 40th birthday of the FIRST baby EVER born via surrogacy, and it was also my embryo transfer day! 🎉

So…this wasn’t supposed to happen til Sunday…but lemme fill you in.

Ok, my last post covered the start of my medication cycle. As a recap; I started off on 3 prenatal vitamins and 2 estrogen pills daily with an estrogen shot every 3 days. By the time my first monitoring appointment rolled around the drs noticed that my uterus lining was getting thick faster than they had anticipated, so to catch it at its peak, they moved the transfer date up, which also meant adding more medications.

These are currently all of the medications I’m on:

-3 vaginal suppositories daily(to be taken throughout the day, basically breakfast, lunch, and right before bed)

-3 prenatals daily(I take one after lunch and 2 after dinner)

-light steroids(the dosage varies daily, the pack starts with 6 in one day, and works its way down to one a day and then you start a new pack. They are to be take at different times throughout the day)

-2 estrogen pills daily(one with lunch and one with dinner)

-daily progesterone injection(mine kinda gives me a stomach ache so I do the shot right before bed so I just sleep through it)

-estrogen injection every 3 days(right before bed)

It seems overwhelming, but it’s honestly not terrible. I kinda run my day around the medications, I make sure to keep the times consistent for each pill so I know I’ve taken them because even one missed dose can lead to…well not so good news. And I don’t want that! I want the good news! I want this little guy to stick on the first try! So good vibes, prayers up, and happy thoughts.


2 updates in 1 month! I’m on a roll!

So I’ll start with a surrogacy update first because I’m so freakin excited about it: I’M UNDER CONTRACT! AND ON MEDICATION! (I had to put it in all caps because I’m literally SO excited about it.) I had an ultrasound and blood work on Wednesday, and I was given legal clearance(meaning both mine and my IPs signed and notarized contracts were received by her attorney and accepted) so once my results from that appointment were checked I was given the green light to start my meds. So far, I’m taking 2 pills orally and a prenatal everyday, and I’m having to give myself an injection every 3 days. The first injection was Wednesday and the second was today, on the upper and outer butt cheek. I was so nervous on Wednesday, I was like 98% sure I was gonna have to call my mom and ask her to do it. Today wasn’t so bad. I have my cute little Cars 3 bandaid on it right now.

The 4th of July came and went SO fast. On the 3rd we went to a concert in the park/independence day celebration. It was really cute and fun and surprisingly, all the games for the kids were free. They won cheap little prizes but for a 5 and (almost) 2 year old it was the best thing in the world. We spent the 4th with family relaxing and we actually got to watch fireworks for the first time since we’ve had Nathan. He’s always been super sensitive to loud noises but this year he was so into it. It was really cute to see him excited and not freaking out.

Now I’m gonna go overboard on pictures from the last 4 month. Bask in the glory of my cute ass family. 😘


Heyyyy! Look at me taking a 4 month break! But here I am…ready to start posting…maybe regularly? Who knows!

I have been thinking about posting a lot, but as the boys get bigger and bigger it’s like I just really don’t have the time, or I’m just not finding the time.

Nathan is 5 now, we had a fun pizza party at an indoor trampoline park to celebrate him. He’s a tiger purple belt in karate and will be getting his tiger blue belt Friday, and in August he will be starting KINDERGARTEN. 😭

Jake will be 21 months on Friday, he’s walking, running, jumping, climbing, screaming and even starting to talk a bit. He’s becoming less picky, or maybe I’m just getting used to his eating habits and working with what he’ll actually eat.

SURROGACY UPDATES: Here we go! I’m still not pregnant. Actually I’m still not even legally cleared but despite that, everyone on my team is working to get me started on my medication cycle. My contract has not been signed off on my the IPs but my case manager and the representative for my IPs are confident that it’ll happen any day now. And I’m really praying it does because we have an appointment set up for the 11th to start my medication. I’ve been set up for a 2 week medication cycle, it consists of daily medication orally with an injection every 3 days. I have a monitoring appointment weekly until the 28th when I have a final lining check, and if everything looks good I SHOULD have an embryo transfer July 29th. Fingers crossed. Prayers are welcome. Good vibes too. Whatever. I just want this contract signed and legal clearance so we can start this. It’s been dragging on and I’ve been so anxious.


Hi. Here I am for my monthly update. I can’t believe how bad I’ve gotten at this. 😭

So I literally had to go back and read my last post because it’s been so long and I couldn’t remember what I posted. Basically a surrogacy update(I have more!) and saying that February sucked ass and it continued to suck ass throughout the end of the month.

There were 2 weeks where our family was just cooped up in the house because we were passing a cold around to each other, on top of that Mando caught a stomach bug and pretty much as soon as he recovered I got food poisoning. Good times. On top of that our family was hit with heartbreaking news. Our niece, (Mando’s sister’s daughter) was diagnosed with leukemia. It’s heartbreaking to hear this about anyone, especially a child, but it’s just so much more devastating when it’s someone you know and love. She’s a little fighter though so even though it’s gonna be a tough road we know she’ll be ok.

Surrogacy updates! My couple/parents agreed to work with me! I underwent a psychological screening(and passed, so no I’m not crazy) and on Wednesday I have a medical screening where they’ll make sure I’m healthy, have no cysts or polyps, and do blood work to make sure I’m not a druggie. I’ll also get my medication to start my cycle to prepare me for the embryo transfer. I’m so excited that this is finally moving along.

Last month I started selling my decorations. It’s been a slow start, but something is better than nothing. I currently have 2 orders I need to get started on and Nathan’s birthday party decorations.

Look out for next months update! Lol


January was a booty ass month. No particular reason…it just took forever it feels like and was just..blah.

I have a lot of surrogacy updates that I’m super excited about, I’ll start at my last update on here since the next time I got news from my agency was literally 2 days after I posted on here. So, they posted my profile for IP’s to see and my profile was put on hold really quickly because there was a couple interested in me. On top of that, a “VIP/high profile customer” was interested in me as well. I was told my medical information was shared with the first couple so their dr could review it, but it literally sat on his desk for 3 looooong weeks. I went to my first surrogacy support meeting and felt really discouraged because there were so many pregnant surrogates, girls in the middle of medication cycles and even a girl who was days away from an embryo transfer, and here I was stuck not knowing wether or not I would even be selected by these IP’s. Finally I asked if it was ok if we got in contact with the other person/couple interested in me(the high profile/VIP) and it was just days before I was told my medical records were approved. Not even 2 or 3 days later I had a Skype meeting with my case manager and 2 representatives for this person/couple and it went amazingly. I was so excited I agreed then and there to work with them. I haven’t heard back because one rep went on vacation, the other had a conference all weekend, so hopefully mid week next week we’ll see if it was agreed on their side as well. There’s another support meeting on Sunday(next weekend) and I’m hoping by then I can say I’m starting my medication cycle.

Besides that, I don’t really feel like much happened in January so I’ll post some pictures to recap.


Happy new year!

I was really hoping to dive back into the gym and getting back on track with the new year, but I just haven’t felt 100% since having the flu and I don’t wanna push it. On top of that, Nathan’s felt pretty poopy these past few days so no gym for me. It’s ok because I went to my moms house to do some washing and borrowed her weights. It’s nothing much, some ankle weights, 10 pound hand weights and a 40 pound barbell. But it’s better than nothing. We’ll see how I’m feeling tomorrow and maybe I’ll do a quick strength training session at home.

So I feel like now is a good time to let the cat outta the bag; (I already did on instagram) MY LITTLE SURPRISE. I’m going to be a surrogate! Medical records have been checked, background checks are clear, my 17 page application in complete, pictures have been submitted, all releases have been signed and my profile is READY. I’m just waiting on my kaiser insurance booklet to come in the mail so I can send it to my case manager, then she can post my profile to be reviewed by different “intended parents.” She said it’s a pretty quick process, because there’s so many intended parents and not as many surrogates, so she said it’s usually a few days to a couple weeks before you can be selected. From there, I can either meet up with them in person, if they’re local, or we can skype. At any time either of us can say no and it’s on to the next one. But if we like each other, and verbally agree then it’s on. Contracts will be signed, I’ll see their doctor to determine what types of medication I’ll be on to prepare myself for the embryo transfer(it’s basically ifv) and then the fun really begins! I’m so so excited to be starting this journey and I’m gonna document as much as I can, so check in for updates!


My home has been hit by this years flu and it’s a bitch. Mando and I came down with it first, at the same exact time…fun…and Nathan just came down with it this morning. I really hope it skips Jake. But this lovely flu includes headaches, achy/swollen joints, stomach trouble, a nasty cough, fever, extreme chills, and dizziness. At least that’s what we experienced. Luckily, the worst of it only lasted 24 hours for Mando and I. We still have a really annoying cough but I think we’re both happy we don’t feel as bad as we did.

Mine and Mando’s background checks have come back and we’re all good 😉 so one more thing checked off my little list. I’m just waiting for one more thing to come in the mail next week so I can send it out to my case manager and we’re good to go. Hopefully with within the next week I can announce what it is! ✌🏼

Putting my thoughts out into the universe in hopes they get to you.

Tonight I find myself staring up at the sky and wondering where you are. I hope your transition to the other side was quick, and I hope you were guided and greeted by our loved ones. The fact that you are no longer in pain or suffering comforts me. You were a true warrior, nana. I’ll give the boys extra kisses, tell them stories of my childhood with you, and of course, pass our name on to my little girl when the day comes.

I’ll love you forever nana.

Rest peacefully. ♥️


I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve already.

We’re just gonna relax today before the madness. Usually we do Christmas Eve with my grandpa and my dad’s siblings but they moved it to the 23rd(yesterday.) We wanted to get together with Mando’s family today but they went to his grandmas house, (I couldn’t talk him into going) they wanted to get together yesterday but we our other family get together. So we’ll probably exchange gifts with them sometime next week. Tomorrow we’re going to my parents house and having a big family dinner.

Today, I just want to clean. I know we’ll be gone alllll day tomorrow and I really don’t want to come home after a day of madness to a messy house. So I’m really trying to knock everything out today. Besides that, I’m gonna make some veggie posole, make a ginger bread lookout (Paw patrol!) with Nathan, and maybe a few other arts and crafts with him. So far he’s made Christmas trees and candy canes, (I’ll update with pictures later). We’re also gonna take the boys to look at Christmas lights tonight…if we’re feeling up to it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We’ll seewhat happens!